As I neared 40 weeks the reality that I could be birthing any day now finally hit... Ben and I decided it was time to shift gears and completely switch off to get in the zone for the birth, so we spent a whole day together in silence, walking in nature, doing yoga, journaling and reflecting on the era that was coming to an end. I felt so loved up and in my body after this day, and for the first time truly ready to give birth. The next day, I was woken suddenly at first light by a flash of bright white light streaming into my vision... I intuited that this was my baby's soul presence, and it was in that moment that I felt my first sensation of labour. I had been getting painless tightenings for months prior, but this felt different... It was stronger and there was a dull period-like cramping that came with it. I got up out of bed and noticed that I had also lost a bit of my mucus plug... More confirmation that something was brewing!

Ben and I decided to carry on with our morning plans of going to the farmer's markets and my chiropractor appointment. While we were out the mild sensations continued consistently and I noticed there had been a shift in my energy. I felt super spaced out and knew we needed to retreat home to our sanctuary. Soon after we got home around midday, the intensity had increased to the point where I had to stop what I was doing to breathe through the sensations... I realised around this time that it was most likely the real deal, so I messaged our Birthkeeper Carla to give her a heads-up. I had some lunch and enjoyed pottering around the house making labour aid and gathering my birth supplies, while Ben set up the birth pool in the bedroom.

Once everything was set up and ready, we decided to go for one last cleansing swim in the waterfall on the property. It was the most beautiful late Spring afternoon outside. Everything was vibrantly glowing with dappled sunlight streaming through the trees. I felt so incredibly high and blissed out walking through the garden to the falls, stopping to lean on trees with each rush. We made it and dived straight in. Ben and I soaked in what we knew were the final moments of just the two of us. Then, as I stood up under the waterfall, I felt a popping water balloon sensation inside of me, and warm fluid running down my legs. My waters released!! I couldn't believe it... The most magical and delightful way to start our birth dance!

We made our way back through the garden, picking flowers for the birth altar and rosemary for the placenta. I felt so held by the beautiful land we were on and knowing that I would soon be birthing here had me overflowing with gratitude. Once we got inside I saged Ben and I, and called upon the power and protection of Source, my guides, angels, benevolent ancestors, birth guardians and goddesses, as well as Mother Nature. The veil between worlds was thin. I felt so safe and trusting, supported by the unseen and ready to meet whatever experience lay ahead of us.

Things truly picked up at this point, it was on! I wanted solitude so I retreated to the bedroom alone where I could go inward and focus all of my attention on the steadily increasing sensations. I welcomed, thanked and affirmed each one saying "Ohhh yes" over and over. The stronger the rushes got, the louder my vocalisations would be. With a hot water bottle tied to my back, I spent the following hours moving between the floor leaning over a ball, on the toilet and in the shower. Listening deeply within and letting my body lead. The pain had now gotten so strong and I was throwing up. I knew that I needed to surrender and get out of the way of what my body was doing, so I focused all of my attention on going towards the pain. Finding the place where it was most intense and melting into that place. Relaxing and softening my entire body during the sensations, instead of bracing against them. When I wasn't resisting the rush in any way, I could feel that it got stronger and more productive... so this was my work!

By sunset, I was deep in it. I had moved into a completely altered and otherworldly state of consciousness. The birthing hormones had well and truly taken over. I was in the cosmos, floating off between worlds, yet simultaneously present in my body, coping with the immense sensations. It was totally psychedelic! Ben was so beautifully holding space from the lounge room, only coming in to check on me every so often, bringing me water or refilling the hot water bottle. In this deep primal zone that I was in, I needed complete darkness and silence. Even the tiniest bit of background noise would disrupt and pull me instantly from the deeply inward, meditative place that I was in, and the pain of the sensations would be felt that much more. It was for this reason that I decided not to call our Birthkeeper to come over as we had planned. I knew on a deep level that I needed to be left completely undisturbed in my process.

Eventually I decided to get in the pool. The hot water felt incredible and helped me to soften and relax, but after a little while I felt like it was slowing things down. So to face the intensity and avoid delaying the process, I got back out to labour on the floor again. I started to notice around this time that sporadically, at the end of a rush, I would feel an intense downward pressure moving through my body and I'd find myself involuntarily pushing a little bit. After several hours of this I started to feel the heaviness in my bum, and then came the famous urge to poo... I went to the bathroom and things slowed down so I laid on the bed to rest. Between sensations, I drifted off into dreamy little microsleeps. Although It wasn't long before the powerful sensations ramped up again and brought me fully awake, back into my body.

The rushes were now more intense than ever, so I called Ben into the room. It was the first time in my labour that I wondered where I was at... It was in this moment of disorientation that I decided to check if I could feel anything inside. I mentally prepared myself to feel nothing and to be labouring well into the next day, when to my surprise I reached in and felt Bub's head!! I wanted to birth in the water, so Ben hurried to warm the pool up for me. With this new discovery, I was fully reinvigorated and filled with so much energy and determination. Over the next 30 minutes, I felt the fetal ejection reflex completely take over. My sounds changed, now deep and guttural. Each rush with its earth-shattering intensity came closer and closer together and with a huge involuntary push as Bub worked their way down. I didn't feel to add any extra force to assist the pushing, as I could feel that what my body was doing on its own was powerful enough. I wanted to ease Bub out as gently and slowly as possible so I didn't tear.

Ben was now in the pool behind me squeezing my hips as hard as he could with each rush. I panted and roared as Bub crowned. I was being stretched beyond anything I could ever have imagined was possible... it was the full ring of fire, and it burned! Before long though, the head was out! In the pause between rushes, I could feel Bub wiggling inside of me, I spoke to them calling them through, telling them how much I wanted to meet them... and then with the next big rush, an arm, another arm, and the rest of their body spiralled out of me. At 4.12 am, Bub was born. WOW, the relief was pure ecstasy! Immediately all of the pain was gone. Bub gently unfurled underwater for a second as I scooped them up between my legs and brought them to my chest. From the moment I laid eyes on them I knew they were perfect. This peaceful little being was pink and beautiful, clearing the fluid from their airways themselves as they gently transitioned from womb to world. After a moment we checked to see the sex. It's a GIRL!! It's Gaia!!

We were in awe, so elated, and SO in love. It was completely euphoric! I stayed in the pool with her for a little while, welcoming and loving on her as she peacefully opened her eyes and looked around. We then made our way to the bed, where Ben got us all cosy and warm. I was in bed for about 30 minutes when I started to feel the rushes start up again. I got out of bed and squatted over a bowl on the floor. With Gaia in my arms, nursing and looking up into my eyes, the placenta plopped out into the bowl. It came with so much ease and with very little blood. It was epic. It was now first light and rainforest bird song filled the air as we snuggled back into bed with our girl, still attached to her placenta, and went to sleep as a little family. It was so simple and beautiful. Exactly what I dreamed of, and easily the most incredible experience of my life!